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I've never had a "straight" girl act like this toward me. Three weeks ago, I responded to a man whose coworker asked him if he might want to sleep with the coworker's wife—a coworker who was "not [his] boss"—and people jumped down my throat for entertaining the idea because it is NEVER EVER NEVER EVER okay to sleep with a coworker and/or a coworker's spouse. Your straight-identified workmate could be straight, or she could be a lesbian (lots of lesbians come out later in life), or she could be bisexual (most bisexual women are closeted, and others are perceived to be straight despite their best efforts to identify as bisexual)—and lots of late-in-lifers and/or closeted folks don't come out until some hot same-sex prospect works up the nerve to ask them out.

" Why does she do everything but sex if she's straight?

So don't let the lack of older women on dating apps prevent you from putting yourself out there on apps and elsewhere, ELDER.

As for your rookie status, there are two examples of lesbians pining over rookies in this very column!

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Call or e-mail your partner's old friend and tell him you think he's a pushy, unpleasant, smelly asshole and that you don't want to hang out with him—not at his place, not on a trip, and not at your wedding, which he not only won't be officiating but, if you had your druthers, he wouldn't be attending. You can't tell your soon-to-be wife who she can't have as a friend—that's controlling behavior—but she can't force you to spend time with someone you loathe. I never want to put out the wrong signals to coworkers, and I err on the side of keeping a safe but friendly distance. Her texts aren't overtly flirty, but they are intimate and feel more than friendly. Questions from lesbians have been pouring in ever since—lesbians apparently don't like being told who they may or may not ask for advice. We've worked together for a year and gotten very close. We stare at each other across the office, we text until late at night, and we go for weekend dog walks. Workplace Obsession Roiling Knowing-If-Nervous Gal Five weeks ago, a letter writer jumped down my throat for giving advice to lesbians despite not being a lesbian myself.And this is important: Before she can respond to your ask, WORKING, invite her to say "no" if the answer is no or "straight" if the identity is straight. I'm a lesbian, and my partner recently reconnected with a childhood friend.At first I felt sorry for him, as he was having a health crisis.Feeling Really Unsure Since This Remarkably Amazing Temptress Entered Domain That nice straight lady from work is making out with you because she likes it (the thirst is real), FRUSTRATED, or she's making out with you because she wants you in her life and believes—perhaps mistakenly—that this is the only way to hold your interest/fuel your obsession (the thirst is faked).

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